None of us wants to get trapped in a Red flags relationship where our partner is a Toxic one, a major red flag. But psychologically, intentionally, we invite the one with whom our vibe gets into tune on random topics related to life. We all forget, and we intentionally even try to put out one of our best versions instead of our flawed ones. Because your tuning with the other person in the first instance was best, you portray everything is going to be best in that person, but by the time – You realize, Oo sucks! It’s now the reality I am seeing, it’s the person that one met in the first instance, who was portrayed as the best version of the person, who gets out when they see some strangers.

I read an article of Licensed Psychologist Jenifer Kromberg says we often ignore red flags in the early stages of infatuation where everything feels bloomy and lovely.

When reality hits us hard, that’s when the problematic behavior becomes the red flag, the red flags signs in partners are the potential signs which might commonly not be the good ones, the signs by which we heed and now onwards we try to draw our attention to any of the acts performed by them.

Dating: One-to-one talk conversation.

During the online consultation, we found a story where she bravely found out the red flag partner in the early stage, so it’s Rashmi whose gym trainer was trying to impress her, sometimes he sent some flowers, many times a sweet and short text of “good morning”, seeing the efforts.

She convinced herself to get into it all, and they started to get into the conversation phase, where the couple decided to meet one day, as per the timings, the girl decided to pick him up from his home. Okay! Followed the thing as decided and waited outside with patience for him to come out.

After 5 minutes, he showed up, but she saw another woman there too. It hit her nerves, she immediately asked – Who is she?? Without any fear, he mentioned, Oh, that’s my girlfriend. Isn’t it insane and mind-blowing that in front of his girlfriend, he is going out with another woman, that’s me!

Rashmi proceeded with another question, isn’t she having any problem – I mean you seeing another woman. He said – nahhh, till the time we decide to get married, we are okay to be in this dynamic relationship.

She was able to identify the red flags relationship in the first instance of a relationship because she wasn’t madly in love with him, she was suspicious from the start. It’s the case when you become high alert after the most traumatic relationship you have come through, now you see and understand the person the way the person is, and do not want to create an imaginary image of that person depending upon the first version of their personality.

Through research and studies, it’s been revealed that your happiness is directly proportional to the self-esteem and hope you carry, but somewhere, it’s been found that a person loses confidence and self-esteem, which directly impacts their happiness.

Expert says Red flags relationship impacts –

According to the research, a toxic Red flag relationship or partner can impact your personality in 4 ways:

1. Psychological impact: Cognitive distortion, mood swings, depression, difficulty focusing, reduced concentration, lower productivity and efficiency in your work and a lack of motivation throughout life.
2. Physical impact: Often, but unfortunately, people face violence in their relationship, and due to this, they tolerate the physical violence, mental torture, and severe pain, which is absolutely absurd and not appreciated behavior.
3. Social impact: A possessive and controlling partner is way more harmful than we can imagine; they cut their social circle and live a sin. (According to Saskia in the research, one form of emotional abuse is restricting a partner’s activities)
4. Financial impact: Often people move to their partner’s close location, so the distance between them can be compromised, but unfortunately, it harms some of them with their financial expenses and sometimes leads to debt.

Red flag Vs Green flag in a relationship.

12 Romantic Red flags relationship signs.

As red flags are not some alien behavior, it’s just the pattern of behavior which is not synergetic as per your metrics and basically tells you, somewhere you both are highly compatible.

Some patterns we may avoid, because those can be the growth areas for the person, if you, as a partner, do tell them, but on the other hand, some behavior patterns and signs are clear warnings and give you a clear message to — RUN!

There we have:–

1. Gut feeling: when it gives you intuition that something is off and not good, where everything seems to be good and on a happier side, but I think you need to trust in the gut feeling, the voice of intuition, because it never disappoints us.

2. No sync: between their words and action, they are performing. So it’s a clear sign that the person can never be trusted, and is not a person of their word.

3. Sudden shifts: in the behavioral pattern, one time they shower every inch of love on you, and the next moment, they leave you broken, basically gaslighting you.

4. Unapologetic: Every time, after they encounter their mistakes and still act like they never went wrong and can’t be sorry for their act, it’s a narcissistic red flag behavior which you should be warned of.

5. Only they are busy: Yes! If you text them, after some time, they suddenly become super busy, all the work is on them and they can’t even make ten minutes for you, leaving your messages for hours, that’s what it’s like in online mode. Major red flag warning.

6. Unwilling to compromise: If you are in a healthy relationship or started to seeing someone, you can’t expect them the way you want them to be, or can’t be the boss all the time sometimes you listen and rule, other times let the other person to rule, basically you both have to compromise over your aggression, ego and get over of your bossy nature. Sometimes, your personal space, place and stuff would be compromised– you would take a decision which is mutually convenient and convincing, not just of yours.

7. Threatening nature: In every fight, you are frightened to the extent where you would be reminded that if you cross this & that limit, I will definitely break up with you and that’s not for once but they make you feel realise, if you try to leave– they will worsen the whole situation for you

Kaytee Gillis, author of “It’s not high conflict, it’s post separation abuse, mentioned that red flags narcissist abusers weaponize the courts as a form of retaliation.

8. Not communication friendly: after every fight, how they react, how your partner talks and how fast they rebound to talk and become normal is a big sign indicating – it’s a red flag OR a green flag partner. Every time you want to talk over a problem, but they don’t want to talk or discuss things which makes them uncomfortable and puts them into a situation.

9. Treats You like an Option: Yes! You are not the first choice for them, and through their actions, it may be that they don’t introduce you to their closest people, or hesitate over the things which couples normally do.

10. Super protective: of their phone, I mean common, when you can dig into each other’s soul, why is the other person so insecure and hesitant when it’s about their cell phone? Are they on a mission or what? You know the answer and you know what it indicates.

11. Pattern of lying: As per Jimmy on relationship, If a person is having habit of lying over small to small things without any reason, but they lie, they make stories to hide other stories, when you catch them lying – they are not at all shameful/guilty of this habit, instead they put the whole blame on you – you did this that’s why I reacted that way.

12. Financially irresponsible: it’s immature, if your partner is not serious about the finances, expanses so it’s damn sure they would not even care in future too, and that can become a major conflicting point between both of you.

Frequently asked questions.

1. Is no red flag a red flag?

No, we can’t say that because it might be the case, when a person is showing you their perfectionist side, they are afraid of showing the real one, once the real side does come, when you both become comfortable. That’s when you decide it’s a red flag or not?

2. Should You Ignore the Red Flags?

No, not really. If you are seeing red flags, there’s no point in ignoring these signs. It’s just like – you picking the wrong train, now no matter how long you travel, it won’t change your destination.

3. Why did I ignore all the red flags in my relationship?

You ignored all the red flags because somewhere a part of you was in deep affection and infatuation towards that person. So, all you see is just the good side of that person and the good side was so heavy that you became blind to the minor moles.