I didn’t believe that Closure is A Myth, I kept playing back the same conversation in my mind a few years ago, wishing I could go back in time and ask, “Why did you leave?”

I believed that I would at last feel lighter if I received a response. However, months went by with no “closure.” I initially felt trapped, as though my life had stopped while I waited for someone else to provide an explanation.

Then, slowly, I discovered something that completely changed my life which is “Closure is a Myth”. The way you choose to heal yourself is the source of true emotional healing, not the words of others. The Illusion of Closure:- It is reassuring to think of closure.

We imagine one last talk, a neatly tied ending, maybe even a hug that makes the pain disappear. I spent a lot of time believing in that fantasy. I recall writing lengthy messages that I never sent, practicing speeches in the shower, and even following them on social media in an attempt to “find” a response.

However, each time I tried to find solace from someone else, I felt more empty. In actuality, closure is something you choose to create for yourself rather than something that someone else provides.

Why You Feel Stuck Waiting for Closure.

You might keep staring up at the sky, but the clouds might never come. Waiting for someone to return and provide you with closure is like waiting for rain during a drought.

Self-Care Is Reflection Of Lifelong Healthy Mind.

You give someone access to your peace when you connect their actions to your healing. I know this from personal experience. I once held onto the hope that I would finally comprehend why things ended if I could just speak with them one last time.

However, my life seemed to be on hold as the days stretched into weeks and then into months. I discovered that I had been in charge of finding closure all along when I stopped waiting and began concentrating on my own recovery.

Why Closure is not necessary for Healing.

My personal experience and the advice of mental health professionals like Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring and Nedra Glover Tawwab have led me to believe that healing is an internal process. I gave up trying to find answers and concentrated on developing emotionally. Rather than waiting for someone else to acknowledge my pain, I validated it for myself.

It was exhausting to carry resentment, so I forgave myself rather than for them. It takes time to heal without closure but definitely Closure is a Myth. It’s the most liberating decision you can make, but it’s a deliberate, slow process.

Healing without closure: My personal experience.

1. Embrace the Unknown.

I accepted that I might never understand their “why.” I began to find meaning in my own life and stopped looking for meaning in what they did.

2. Experiencing the Range of Feelings.

I gave myself full freedom to cry, write, and completely process my grief rather than acting like I was okay.

3. Composing the Unsent Letter.

I filled a letter with all my emotions which I never sent . It turned into a release and a reminder that I could move on without their responses.

4. Investing in myself again.

I took a yoga class, started journaling , got back in touch with old friends, and took up some time for neglected hobbies.

5. Establish Limits to Preserve My Calm.

I avoided any type of discussions which could bring up any old issues and I unfollowed them on social media.

Professional Guidance That Modified My Viewpoint.

Everything made sense to me when I read Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring’s statement, “Healing is a process you initiate, not a gift you receive.” It felt like I was standing in a room without walls while I waited for someone else to shut the door for me. I had to construct my own.

Making Purpose Out of Pain.

Pain can be a teacher, but it’s not always a kind one. Every betrayal, heartbreak, and unsolved question has the power to either build or destroy you. By turning your attention away from “Why did this happen to me?”

You take back your story by asking, “What can I create from this?” Writing became my outlet. I began writing in my journal about the abrupt endings, the silent treatments, and the unanswered goodbyes.

What started out as a means of processing my suffering gradually evolved into a manual for personal development. Those pages still give me strength and serve as a reminder of how far I’ve come.

Closing the Chapter, Not the Heart!

In retrospect, I’m glad I never found the “closure” I believed I required. If I had, I might have thought that they, rather than me, were the source of my healing. Their apology is unnecessary for you. You don’t require their justification. To move on, all you need is your own bravery. You’ll realise you had the power all along when you quit waiting for closure and begin making it for yourself.