We all want to be loved. Loved by someone who cares for us, who makes us feel special. But what makes you feel loved, for this self-dating in the starting is the best way to explore your inner self. This is why I preferred to discuss and make an awareness through this topic called, Self-date, why you should date yourself first. With the medium of adoresays, I am going to talk about what self-dating is, and why it’s important. A story through which you will be able to sink in the importance of self date and what are some resisting factors, that you won’t date yourself and in the body, The most important part of this blog is simplifying how you can easily date yourself. You are going to love the whole idea of solo dating.
Let me narrate a short story of a girl who discovered herself through self dating, yeah by dating herself.
Kirti was shattered after breaking a 5-year-old relationship. She always wanted to be with Aniket, but you must be wondering why she broke up with him. If she was madly in love with him, she had imagined a life in her world where Aniket was as caring as he was in the first year of their relationship, she imagined him to be on her support side. He will care about her the way she notices and make sure he is happy or not. After completing one year everything changed Aniket didn’t want to call, if they were on call, they have had fights over petty things.
Every day was tough and a juggling kind of riddle for her and she wonders if I have done something wrong. Why is he behaving like this? She tried everything to be with him till they completed their 3 years of togetherness. But one day, she gets to know from some mutual friend, that Aniket is cheating on her. She had a reason to leave and she left. Aniket was a cunning one, he was still in a relationship with the girl he cheated on Kirti.
They started to live together and after some time Kirti’s love was haunting him. By the time he understood the value of love, support, and care he was getting from Kirti. He broke up with that girl and went back to Kirti but things were not right after that too, and Kirti gets this thing very well that things can’t be the same as it was in the beginning because the person was just pretending although she took 5 years to realize it.
Now Kirti wanted to give a start to her life. The life she always wanted to live, the dreams she aspired to every day but put a halt because she thought it was okay to be with someone you love rather than to be a caretaker of yourself. She had a flawed concept of love where she was finding love in the outer realm and thinking one day that one person will get to understand how she has to be loved or taken care of.
Kirti now Prioritized herself before anyone, started to upskill herself, and started to learn digital marketing and after a year she established her agency. Meanwhile, for health, she chose to exercise daily and take a daily leisure walk where she found herself to be very peaceful. She marked her favorite dishes, prepared a list, and gave herself a loving treat whenever she achieved something. She likes sunflowers but guess what? She didn’t give herself a bouquet but made the whole garden in the backyard of her home, now every morning she gets to sense the fragrance of her favorite flowers. She loves more, laughs more, enjoys more, and lets things go easily. She enjoys her own company. Now people get the positive and radiant healing kind of energy from her.
All this change happened because of??
Because now she opted for herself. She put herself at the center of the story. Now she
self-dated herself. The story of Kirti is the story of every fifth person of our generation. Kirti understood the lesson but most of us get into a rush and prepare ourselves for the next relationship, as in there is a race to be in the relationship and if you don’t have a love partner, someone will throw you out of this world.
I think the story is wholesome of facts and reasons why one first loves herself/himself then only that love can spread and radiate to others.
Self-date meaning?
Self-date or solo date is to love yourself by caring about your preferences, by making yourself a very first priority, you make yourself happy, pampered, and feel loved by sweet, kind, and loving gestures.
Self-date benefits.
- You make your life the best because every reaction is the consequence of your
action. - You start to listen to your inner voice.
- You hesitate less when you have to make your point on the standing time.
- You evolve emotionally, and psychologically because now you give yourself
proper space to embrace yourself. - Your life becomes adventurous because now you want to live and experience
everything that you have ever imagined in this life.
Why don’t you want to date yourself?
- We do have a fear of being judged in the eyes and perspective of another person.
- Sometimes we think it’s over dramatic and self-centered act to care about ourselves.
- It really takes guts to look into the inner side so we choose an easy way of finding another person to show care and love for us.
- This is how we have grown in a society where these acts are not normalized yet.
- Low awareness among our generation especially Generation Z.
- We often misinterpret self-care and self-date from being selfish for ourselves.
How can you self-date yourself??
Although this self-love journey teaches a lot, here are some most workable tips on how one should be loving towards oneself.
- Do what you love.
We all have some wishes, our partner should be caring towards me like asking me for meals, and notice the small things that make me happy. Do all these things by yourself only. This means you prepare a meal and have it on time, care for your skin, and care for those small things that make you happy. Dive into yourself, understand yourself what you like what you don’t like, whatever you can do for yourself, do it for yourself. Don’t let the spare space for anyone and expect from anyone, when you can do it by yourself.
2. Prepare a list.
Ever wished I could do this crazy stuff with my love?? Well, in self-date, why not try by yourself only??
Yeah! For instance, I have this crazy wish of bungee jumping with my partner and wanna experience nature once in a hot air balloon. But if I do not have any partner then?? I won’t do it. That’s not my thing. I am going to experience all these crazy moments even if I do not have a love partner. Yes!
Why would I wait for someone to come and light me up when I can do these things alone? It’s all about loving yourself, buddy. Try it. You will be fond of your personality. You will end up saying that I want someone like me otherwise I am pretty happy with this self-date.
So get set! Prepare your list.
3. Enjoy your company.
Enjoy your company. Generally, people like to hang out with the person who is so contained in himself. The one who needs the people most end up being alone in trauma and have the fear of being alone. So basically two categories, choice is yours and it’s a basic thing if you don’t like your own company, who else will like it??? No one is right, so care for yourself without second thoughts about how others will judge you. Treat yourself right, so right that you spoil yourself with love and affection towards yourself.
4. Give a treat.
Give yourself a treat. Ohh got the promotion, increment yes you have a reason to celebrate. Celebrate it once and you will feel great. If you are foody, try new food but don’t forget to take the healthy food because your health reflects your mind to an extent.
5. Trip where you want.
If there are places you want to visit, like mine, I have been once in Darjeeling and want to explore it. And I will do it.
6. Fight for yourself.
Yes! If someone behaves with your loved ones or if you disrespect them. You don’t tolerate it of course not in a violent way but yeah you don’t tolerate it. So why compromise when it comes to you? Don’t let anyone be as relaxed as they want. If you feel bad about something in a conversation, say it I recommend saying it bluntly without any fear.
Self-date ideas at home.
● Try to eat without binge-watching and getting involved in your phone.
● If you are sad, try to dance to your favorite pop song, I mean this idea is something crazy but you do it once and you will feel amazing after 30 minutes. I do this personally and hence recommend this method.
● Visit parks and gardens near to your home, and in the starting possibly it feels awkward so try to visit while listening to any favorite audio series.
● Going on solo coffee dates feels amazing enjoy your coffee and enjoy reading your favorite book.
● Book reading is an amazing thing with which you start, pick some genres relating to self-dating to boost your confidence.
● You can even try vision boards for yourself, like what you want to do weekly, monthly, and in a year of solo date journey.
ADORESAYS VOICE!
Dating is beautiful but it becomes more beautiful once you date yourself and know yourself in a better and more sophisticated way, if you are complicated and entangled, no one can fulfill your expectations and reciprocate you the way you want. So date yourself. It’s lovely.
FAQ.
Are solo dates healthy?
Yes, they are very relieving and healthy, and as a person you learn to enjoy your own
company. That’s why self dates holds importance in one’s life.
Why should you date yourself once in your life?
By self-dating, you get to learn different aspects of your personality and often you discover yourself, you discover the inner dormant child while dating yourself, and you know your wants and what you actually don’t want. So, you should date yourself.
Is the self-date or solo date the same?
Both terms indicate the same thing, hence they are the same.